Elegy To Our Mother

On the passing of my dear mother-in-law:

Ayesha Fayroze Zamani Begum

(1948 - 2012)

Allahumma Aghfir lahaa

Ammi, I always wished for you

To be a better mother,

To be my wise protector who

Would one way or another

Make all my troubles go away,

Complete my youth with care,

And sigh away my chatter while

You fixed my tangled hair;

Or flush my spirit with your tales

Of wisdom and delight,

That in my older years would serve

Me as a guiding light.

But you had troubles of your own:

Afflictions of the mind;

My oldest memory of you

A thing to leave behind.

I've watched you wander in a daze,

And heard you babble what

The medication and the drugs

Did to your every thought.

And most of all I felt for you

Was born of sympathy,

I've wondered what the purpose of

Your pointless life could be.

Now after all these heavy years,

Of sickness, and defeat,

You flood me with your wisdom as

I sit beside your feet;

Resounds in all your muted pain

A lifelong dignity,

And in your blinking eyes is plain

Your shining love for me.

My silent tears drain my breast;

As you exhale your last,

I see your glowing face attest

An unassuming past.

And I may never comprehend

This mercy lofty, high,

For in your soft and graceful end,

You've shown me how to die.

In all your towering innocence,

You rest within your grave,

A soul without complaint or grudge,

A pure, submitting slave.

O Allah, to You my mother returns,

Through all of her suffering and pain,

Protect her against the fire that burns

Whatever of sin may remain.

And fill every inch of space in her grave

With light of Your mercy kind,

That she may delight in fragrances that

Bring peace to an innocent mind.

Aameen.